no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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