My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
