remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
