who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
