4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
