i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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