plz talk dirty to me
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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