i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Semen is not good for contacts.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
