I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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