By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
