Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
