i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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