True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
