I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
