i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize