Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
