What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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