You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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