the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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