so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
