arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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