I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
