Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
