yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
