what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
