Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
