day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
