garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
one two three fourrrrnication!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
