OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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