She went from zero to smokin in five shots
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
