i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
