That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just googled if crying burns calories
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
