you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
