Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
