**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
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