At least make sure they are 18
Why
Soap is not a condiment
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
