yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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