i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
