the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
