to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
