He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize