How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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