And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize