does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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