Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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