Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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