shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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