you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
