ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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