Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
