i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
