i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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