Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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