Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I am one with the molecules
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
