She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize