I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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