he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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