The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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