a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
