She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
