hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
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