So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
