According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I can feel your judgement through the phone
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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