pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My hand turned me down
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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