whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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