all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
